Like toy Soldiers
by RavenRed
Summary: this is a songfic where harry reflects on the past years, before the last battle, Harry POV Very Angsty, and Sad : R&R please!


**I Do not own the characters, or the song, which is _Like Toy Soldiers- _Eminem. But I do own The Plot!!!

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Like Toy Soldiers

_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left _

_We all fall down like toy soldiers _

_Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win _

_But the battle wages on for toy soldiers _

The sounds of battle played outside the tent in which Harry was currently watching, there was no way he could sleep, with him being the main component in this war, but Hermione was going to start on Him if he comes out too soon, so he thought he should reflect on it, which would usually help him think.

_I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure _

_Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders _

Ever since he was one year old, he was involved in this war. When he got to Hogwarts he was constantly saving everyone, no matter what, he was given more responsibility, than anyone should have to hold. He was either their hero, or their martyr, but no matter what he was the boy-who-lived, the savior.

_I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it _

_Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter _

Ron and Hermione were there, but they had no idea what it was like to have the weight of the entire world on their shoulders. They were best friends, and yet he still had a mask around them, they wouldn't understand. He would have to eventually face Voldemort, Kill him or Die trying.

_I'd never drag them in battles that I can't handle unless I absolutely have to _

_I'm supposed to set an example, _

He never wanted them in this war in the first place, he never wanted them to have to go through the pain of losing someone, he's lost enough, but he didn't want them to have to go through it. I was always the Hero, and so I tried to keep them away from battles, but it never worked.

_I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em _

_If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em _

Once Dumbldore died, everyone looked to me to guide them, the new leader, when all I wanted to do was mourn him. I was always supposed to be everywhere, if deatheaters killed a town, and they died, I was my fault too, because I wasn't there.

_Now the Ja shit I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it _

_There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it _

Once Voldemort learned necromancy and made my Parents fight in his army, I just lost it, but no one knew that, because by then I had perfected my mask. I tried to stop my feeling of rage, but by then I had seen red, I had injured Voldemort, and so he apparated out, but not before throwing me one malicious smirk.

_I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it _

_It was crazy, this shit way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit _

After that I got super sensitive to anything, and so anything could make me blow up, when Ron said 'you-know-who' I stormed out and wasn't seen for a week

_And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it _

_I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted _

_And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it _

No matter what anyone says, the war is partially my fault, Voldemort makes it that way. And even though we have won most of the war, and Voldemort has almost no army left, I still feel as though we lost, we have lost too many people already, mostly everyone but the order has died, and too many children have lost parents, and teenagers lost their innocence.

_This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it _

_That was never my object for someone to get killed _

_Why would I wanna destroy something I helped build _

_It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good _

I never wanted anyone to get killed, they had just rebuilded their lives from the last war. I would rather no one fight but me and Voldemort, but I knew that was never going to happen, I knew that I couldn't face his forces alone, even if I will have to face him.

_II went through my whole career without ever mentionin' ..._

_Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth _

_And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about _

Anyone around me never mentioned Sirius around me, it would just get me depressed, after he died no one ever got me out of my depression, it's gotten better sfter the years, but on one knew about how much it hurt, because I just pushed it down.

_Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef _

_So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth _

When ever we are in battles, I always want to be everywhere, helping my friends in their duels, fighting their fights, but I know that my place is fighting Voldemort, and so I just bear it, and fight harder.

_While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life _

_Like fuck it i understand this is business _

_And this shit just isn't none of my business _

_But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cuz _

_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left _

_We all fall down like toy soldiers _

_Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win _

_But the battle wages on for toy soldiers _

_There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme _

_And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin' _

When ever I think of the war, I always miss, when we were younger, when people would say his name, without fearing that Voldemort would come and kill their families, when I wouldn't have to worry about my friends dying.

_But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it _

_The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it? _

When I would hope for something in this war, I would hope that all the kids wouldn't have to fight, I was born into this war, but the kids, and teenagers, shouldn't have to fight. This was and always will be my war, and my fate.

_It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin' _

_We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin' _

_Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him _

_And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him _

Voldemort had actually captured me at one time, and he would come in and talk with (form a safe distance for him) me about the war, it just made me hate him more.

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_We still have soldiers that's on the front line _

_That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders _

We have our own army know, but sometimes I wish we don't. It is filled with kids just out of their teens, and some still in them. Thieve said that they will follow me until the end, that the would do anything I said, but I wish they wouldn't. I wish that it was just me.

_Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us _

_We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus _

_To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is _

Every day people die, everyday they tell their loved ones that they love them, that they'll come back, but not all of them do. And some like me, who have no family to tell, just sit with friends, and talk about what used to be, and what could be, but won't.

_To have Runion Avenue Soldiers up in our corners_

_Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is _

My Friends loyalty too me is worth anything, but I wish I could just tell them to go back home, and spend time with the family that they have left in this war, but they won't. And I know that.

_But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered _

_It ain't worth it I can't think of a perfecter way to word it_

I wish that they wouldn't go out in battle, but I don't know of any other way, they won't go home, they are fighting for their lives, and their world, even though both are mostly destroyed. More so for me.

_Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the virdict _

_I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further _

Sometimes I wish I could just walk away from it all, the pain, the death, the suffering, but I know that the world wouldn't be better off if I left, but my friends would.

_But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin' _

_I'm just willin' to be the bigger man _

_If ya'll can quit poppin' off at your jaws well then I can, _

_Cuz frankly I'm sick of talkin' _

_I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cuz _

I have so much death on my hands, so much blood. I was the first one to start killing the death eaters, everyone was shocked at that. I have killed more than all of my friends, but I know that if I don't kill them, they'll kill me, or my friends.

And I won't let that happen.

_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left _

_We all fall down like toy soldiers _

_Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win _

_But the battle wages on for toy soldiers _

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Hey guys!!! Please review, even if it is Flames!! please!!!

-BasementPrincess


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